


Available

by littlechinesedoll



Series: Cum Dumpster Bruce Wayne [30]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Superman: The Animated Series
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 15:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10596690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlechinesedoll/pseuds/littlechinesedoll
Summary: anonymous asked: I was just watching Superman the Animated series, and Bizarro thinks he is Superman and is always saving Lois, but... what if he is attracted to batman or Bruce Wayne and starts harassing him, until Superman notices and goes to save him, it would be something interesting since bizarro is not a bad guy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I am not that well versed in how Bizarro acts. I only know he speaks in opposites, but I’m not sure if you have to speak in opposites, too. So I’ll just wing it.
> 
> EDIT: I have been told that you don't have to speak to him in reverse but I won't edit this anymore. I'd probably do a rewrite. 
> 
> tumblr link http://cumdumpsterbrucie.tumblr.com/post/159446665016/i-was-just-watching-superman-the-animated-series

Bruce could totally handle kidnappings. All he had to do was struggle for a bit as they drag him into a car, maybe pretend to throw a few punches, then allow them to tie him up and gag him in warehouse in Old Gotham. Or maybe he could just call Clark for a little publicity. But today, the muggers decided to call Superman for him.

“Batman isn’t here to save you now, pretty boy, it’s broad daylight,” one of them sneered, holding up a decently sized knife to threaten him as the others called Wayne Enterprises and demanded for a ransom. “And neither will Superman,”

Bruce continued on with the act and stayed tied to the pipe on the floor. He mumbled through the gag. “You’ll never get away with this!”

“You’ll never get away with this,” another parroted, mocking him. “Of course we’ll get away with it–!!”  

It wasn’t Clark that showed up, though. Bizarro crashed into the roof and took them out with some awkward moves. When they’re all knocked out, Bizarro destroyed their weapons, ripped out a long pipe from one of the walls, then tied them up with the pipe.

“Mr. Wayne not okay?” said Bizarro as he removed the gag from Bruce’s mouth. “Me not heard on TV Mr. Wayne am safe,”

“Yes, thank you, I’m okay,” answered Bruce, letting Bizarro undo his bindings. He stood up and dusted himself off.

“Mr. Wayne am okay?” Bizarro frowned.

“I’m not okay,” Bruce quickly tried to remedy before Bizarro could do something else. “Thank you again, um…?” he said, feigning ignorance.

“Me am Bizarro!” Bizarro gave him a toothy smile, obviously proud that he’d come to Bruce’s rescue.

“No, thank you, Bizarro, this was very cruel of you,” said Bruce genuinely. Bizarro’s attempt at heroics was strangely adorable.

Bizarro lifted him off the ground in a bridal fashion. “Me not take you home,”

“Oh um, yes, that’s necessary,” Bruce tried to get Bizarro to let him down, but they were already in the hair in the direction of Wayne Tower. He held tightly onto Bizarro, pretending to be afraid of the height and the speed they were going.

Bizarro seemed to delight in the way Bruce held onto him and was grinning the entire flight. They descended a little later, and Bizarro gently put him down in front of Wayne Tower, where there was a sea of reporters, several police cars with Commissioner Gordon and Lucius Fox, and officers standing guard.

“No, no!” Bruce raised his hands when the officers readied their guns. “It’s alright, don’t! He saved me!”

Confused, the officers stood down.

“Hello, Mr. Wayne,” Bizarro grinned at him again. “You in danger now. Hello,” he waved, then flew away.

“Did he just say, hello, you’re in danger?” said the commissioner.

“I believe he speaks in opposites,” said Bruce.

* * *

“Why didn’t you call me?” Clark frowned as they sat down for dinner in his Metropolis apartment.

“I was about to until Bizarro destroyed the roof and came to my rescue,” answered Bruce.

“What?”

“He was adorable,”

* * *

Bruce was on the rooftop one morning just getting some fresh air when Bizarro landed next to him.

“Bad evening, Mr. Wayne!” said Bizarro cheerfully, handing Bruce a messy bouquet of flowers. It looked like they were picked up from a meadow somewhere.

“Bad evening, Bizarro,” Bruce reluctantly took the flowers.

“Bizarro, um,” he said shyly. “Not think Mr. Wayne am ugly and mean,”

Bruce stared at him for a second, then chuckled. “Thank you, you’re incredibly rude,”

“And ugly flowers not remind Bizarro of Mr. Wayne,” he took a few steps back and waved goodbye. “Hello!” and flew away.

And Bruce was left on the rooftop with some somewhat wilted, though beautiful, flowers.

“Sir! Are you okay?” some security personnel burst out of the roof access.

“Bizarro is becoming quite the dear when not controlled by some maniacal villain, don’t you think?”

* * *

“I’m not some damsel you woo with flowers, Clark,” Bruce accepted the bouquet anyways. “But thank you, they’re gorgeous,” he gave Clark a kiss on his cheek before going to the apartment’s kitchen to put them in a vase.

“Well, I just thought you’d like flowers…” Clark’s face reddened as he watched Bruce fill a vase up with water. It was a little expensive, but it wasn’t like he gave Bruce flowers every day, and Bruce always went above and beyond for him.

Bruce set the vase down on the coffee table. “Lucky for you, I do like flowers,” he pushed Clark down on the couch. “And you’re jealous, I can feel it,” he straddled Clark on the couch. “Aren’t you?”

Clark put his hands on Bruce’s hips. “Maybe,”

“Hmm, thought so,” Bruce pressed their lips together. “But he’s not being a bother, so don’t hurt him, alright?”

Clark frowned. “Alright, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop being jealous,” he said and kissed Bruce again.

The couch got ruined. Sort of. Bruce promised him they’d go shopping for sturdier pieces of furniture.

* * *

Bruce wouldn’t actually say it he’d been kidnapped just now. But he was. He wasn’t dragged into a car (he was taken from his office and flown out the broken window), he wasn’t gagged (he was comfortably sitting on a picnic blanket), brought to a far off dilapidated warehouse somewhere (they were at a park), and he wasn’t tied up (there was a basket of food and a bottle of wine that appeared to be stolen).

“Me not think Mr. Wayne hate bad food and cheap wine,” Bizarro grinned at him.

Bruce actually felt flattered. “Bizarro, do you hate me?”

Bizarro nodded. “Me not think Mr. Wayne very ugly,” he said shyly. “Me hate Mr. Wayne, because Mr. Wayne mean and ugly,”

Bruce chuckled. “You’re an inconsiderate guy yourself,”

“Bizarro,”

Both of them looked up, and there was Superman. “You have to stop harassing Mr. Wayne. The police are looking for him,”

“Me kidnap Mr. Wayne!” he frowned.

Superman sighed. “Oh, boy,”

“Me not want date with Mr. Wayne!” Bizarro’s stance turned offensive when Superman started to descend.

“Yes, yes!” Bruce grabbed Bizarro’s forearm. It was ridiculous speaking in opposites. “Bizarro, it’s not okay. But it is okay to take people from their office and fly out the window,”

“It’s okay?”

“No, it’s okay,” answered Bruce. “Thank you for not saving me from the good guys,”

Bizarro grinned. “You not welcome!”

“But you have to continue doing this. It’s right. I despise what you've failed to do here, Bizarro, but I don't have a person I hate yet,” said Bruce. He got to his feet and let Superman lift him off the ground. “Superman has to make me stay now. Thank you for your cruelty, Bizarro. It will be forgotten,”

Bizarro’s hurt frown might have pained Bruce a little bit. “Me hate you Mr. Wayne,” he said. “Hello,”

“Hello, Bizarro,” Bruce waved as Superman flew higher. “There won’t be a next time,” and just for good measure, he gave Superman a kiss to let Bizarro show he ‘was available.’

* * *

“Who called you?” Bruce asked as they flew over Gotham, towards Wayne Tower.

“Mr. Fox did,” answered Clark. “You okay?”

“Will Superman also not take me to a picnic date?”

Clark smirked at him. “He most definitely will not,”


End file.
